Skip to main content

Interior Life of an Estate Agent - part 24

En garde

I’ve been worrying about our newest member of staff. She’s fresh out of school, an absolute stunner, with a sweet nature, and she’s being sent out on viewings. I don’t like it. It has never occurred to me before to worry about being in an empty house with a stranger but I’m not happy about her being in that position. She may be fine. She may never have to deal with some old creep’s unwanted attentions. I mention my concerns several times but my colleagues, and this little cutie-pie, all look blankly at me as if I’m being neurotic. I let it go.

Today, for the first time, I’m sitting in my car and I know I’ve got an odd one. I see a man shuffling about near the house where I’m to meet my next client. I know he’s my man because he is walking strangely; he looks shifty and disturbing, and I wouldn’t go near him if I had a choice. Well, at least it’s me not the youngster who’s out here.

I stride up to him and act like I’m taller and wider than I really am. I’m very physical with the door and actively take up a lot of space when I step inside the house, speaking loudly and exhibiting masterful control of the situation. After a few minutes and a lot of time wasting in the garden I recognize that I’m putting off taking him upstairs.

It has to be done but I have a brainwave and send him up first. There’s no way I’m going to get cornered by this laddie. It’s a small place but I manage to stay behind him so that he has to enter the bedrooms while I stay in the hall and point at items of interest, still talking loudly and confidently, and filling the doorframe. I lead the way downstairs feeling pretty triumphant, let’s face it. I survived the two of us staring mutely at the large double bed. I am so intimidating.

I even think I may have made a sale. I smile broadly and hold out my hand for a solid shake, and closure. He looks deep into my eyes, takes my right hand firmly within his, then leans forward with his left hand as well, for a double clasp. I am outside, standing in the road, yet I feel stifled; held by his gaze, and enclosed by his hands.

I wonder what cute little Emily would have done, and I’m glad she didn’t have to.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

GLORIOUS 39. Dir Stephen Poliakoff. 2009

Glorious 39 strips away illusions. Poliakoff presents the apparent idyll of an English aristocratic family headed by genteel patriarch Lord Keyes (Bill Nighy). He presides over a country estate in Norfolk and his elegant townhouse in London – a world of golden light, romantic ruins, servants, house parties and happy children. But this is 1939, a mere 21 years since the Great War, the war to end all wars, in which millions died, Britain was crippled with war debt, and the English country house system which he so values was almost annihilated. There are many references to the ancientness of his family and tradition, but now, few male servants remained alive or unmaimed to work the English landscape or to be in service to the old families. Fearing domestic and political upheaval, appeasers such as Keyes sought to prevent Churchill leading the country and taking Britan to war, and to buy off Hitler to preserve British cultural and national identity. Nighty is excellent, contro...

Running ‘till your nipples bleed

An email from a friend of mine arrives; she complains that, at work, she is routinely subjected to gruesome accounts of female colleagues’ intimate medical procedures and gynaecological problems. I am all commiseration because I, too, have had years of listening to workplace chats about periods, childbirth and sex lives. Oh please. Later, I wander off for a walk in the early evening sunshine and it is so silent and so beautiful that I flop down on the grass and lay awhile gazing out over the rolling fields, and the mouth of the river, and fall into a reverie. Two men pass by. A few minutes later sounds of women’s talk float nearer and, by the time the two females of the species draw level with me, I have risen up from my deliciously recumbent position in the meadow, alert and tense, something like a meerkat. “I do feel for her. Going down that IVF route is such an emotional roller coaster. I was never prepared for how terrible it was going to be.” I remain frozen in my meerkat position...

MAN ON WIRE. Dir James Marsh. 2008

Enthralling documentary about young Frenchman Philippe Petit, whose breathtaking audacity gets Enthralling documentary about young Frenchman Philippe Petit, whose breathtaking audacity gets him arrested for the ‘artistic crime of the century.’ Man on Wire has a strong theme of destiny throughout. Magician and unicyclist, the teenage Philippe sees a magazine article about the building of the twin towers of the World Trace Center in New York. At that moment his life’s purpose is clear. Everything he does is focused upon this one aim: to wire walk between the two buildings, half a mile above ground level. As bold and daring as a bank raid, the team manages to get onto the top floor of the Twin Towers, ready for the attempt. Film maker James Marsh uses archive footage, photographs, interviews, recreations and graphics to conjure up a dizzying, exhilarating film. Refreshingly dismissive of rules, Philippe has no time or patience for limits and restrictions. Driven by his pa...