Royal Wedding Brilliant Ruse

Although unusually over elaborate for the army, the Royal Wedding brilliantly disguised the true nature of William and Harry's almost lifelong training for this significant day, distracting almost the entire world. Friends of these blood brothers have revealed that William and Harry had been in arduous training for some years alongside Kath and Pip, for their long planned operation to nip over and assassinate Bin Laden on the night of the apparent nuptials.

It's staggering that this operation has been over six years in preparation. In 2005, as soon as it was known that a fortified mansion was being built for Bin Laden, MI6 sought the best candidates to blast their way in and remove the alleged mastermind of the Twin Towers attack. A long courtship between Britain's two best operatives was set up while the pair were still at University, culminating in the huge event we witnessed on Friday.

It didn't quite go according to plan. Harry almost blew their cover; watched by millions he was overheard saying to William in the Abbey, "There's been a problem with the weather. You're going to have to go through with the wedding night." It was impressive that Kath had got herself seriously thin and fit in order to get into the secure compound in Pakistan - much like her namesake, Catherine Zeta Jones in the Sean Connery film, bending and flexing under and over infra-red security beams. She will make a wonderful military wife, cool under pressure.

However, two days later than planned, the four of them made it in and out of the Bin Laden stronghold without hurting themselves, in only 40 minutes and, with typical British reserve, they have allowed the Americans to take the credit while William and Kath pretended to be having a honeymoon weekend and Harry and Pip dismantled the helicopter and destroyed the evidence, ditching everything in the sea.

With breathtaking audacity, the teamleaders drove off together like any real newly weds in superb Aston Martin, without a bullet proof vest or bodyguard between them, on their way to who knew what fate awaited them in the days ahead. Ably supported by their co-ops, Harry and Pip, these young people have set the standard for confidence and professionalism, and fearlessness in the face of crowd hysteria.

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