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Interior Life of an Estate Agent - part 10

There is local firm unaffectionately known as Fullocrap and Bullshit, headed by an unpopular partnership, the least loved member of which is known to have amassed a portfolio of over 20 properties, the majority of which he has bought for himself at below-value prices. Some of these he has been known to sell on three months later for a profit and the wonder is that no-one in authority has noticed this unprofessional and suspect financial manoeuvring.

Estate agents can of course buy property, and naturally they have an interest or they wouldn’t have gone into that line of business. The price and intention are the issue. These rumours circulate the city and yet no-one appears to have reported this man to any authority which seems a shame as I don’t like pockets being lined at the expense of innocents. The firm in question are also notorious for overpricing everything they sell, and for not caring whether they sell any properties or not. I can only imagine that their commission is so high per property that meeting a monthly target to cover costs is non-essential.

I speak with an acquaintance who has just bought a property from them, and about which transaction she mutters darkly. I try hard not to add fuel to her fire by saying they add 100K onto everything they sell, merely that they are known to have the highest prices. She tells me that she knew the price for the house was deliberately being ratcheted up; that she saw how it was done, yet she still bought it. I drive out to visit her in her new home. It is an old terraced cottage in a desirable village, single fronted. The selling points are the village and the view of the creek. I anticipate that she must have been forced up to almost 300K, simply for the view. With a little patience I am not, however, rewarded by information, but utterly dumbfounded - she paid over 400K. Buyer beware.

Driving home I notice that every For Sale sign belongs to this same partnership, and sigh to myself that it will never be possible for me to return to the village. If I was a seller though, what would I do? Would I go with the middle of the road agents who price sensibly, anticipating a sale within two months, or reap the maximum yield for my bricks and mortar with these guys? Of course I would never deal with a firm with such dubious practices but human nature is greedy and I’d still like heaps of cash. It’s profit versus principles and, perhaps, somewhere in the pendulum's swing we can settle with a compromise.

People think agents set the prices on houses but it isn’t always the case. A good agency will quote a price which it believes is achievable within the timescale that the seller requires; a corporate agency, interested only in targets, will quote low; Fullocrap and Bullshit quote supremely high which not only flatters their seller but brings into their eye that unwholesome glisten of the prospect of easy money.

Outside these three variables there is the seller’s own vanity and greed. The reasonable seller will obtain three market appraisals and go for the middle one, and the unreasonable will take all the advice on offer and then add another 20K on top because they’re sure they’ll get it. That is absolutely the seller’s prerogative. What happens is that the house goes on the market overpriced, and stays there until the market catches up, two years later in some cases, or the seller takes it off, feeling disgruntled and blaming the agent. The lucky seller will find a buyer like my acquaintance, whose desire outstrips her common sense.

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